crystalnaiver:

Gaga: I dont speak German but I can if you like AWOOO

me: ICH SLEIBAN AWKS BE CLAIR KJJSHKDJH MADRE MONSTER KSJDHJKHADJK FLAGEN FRAULEIN WISH NSBDJKABD ECLAIRE

(via thejewelofafrica)

methhomework:

me: so you took a shower and then you heard the gun shot

witness: yes

me as a lawyer: isn’t the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you’re forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate

witness: i’m bald

(via thejewelofafrica)

kookie667:

Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”

@swellatight basically everyday

(via judgejudyofficial)

cumnog:

6 inch heelys…..she rolled into the club like nobody’s business….

(via thebootydiaries)